This is it. Seriously I don’t think even all their cinematic mementoes of the yesteryears put together can collectively act as compensation for the audience woes on account of witnessing something that can only be described as the nadir of contemporary Hindi cinema, or for that matter cinema in general, and it is none other than the latest offering of India’s biggest production house, Yash Raj Films, the touted magnum opus, the multi-starrer, hype heavy, Tashan.
Watching any film with the YRF tag embossed on it, is sacrosanct to me, and hence when I watch something as crappy, as ludicrous and as pathetic as this, it isn’t exactly what YRF means to me. I agree that with the changing needs of the business of cinema, one does need to focus on business opportunities which have been hitherto untried. But Tashan is neither a cinematic jewel, nor is it a sound business proposition. I mean, till when would we only assemble the best on screen talent in the industry, give them pathetically shady roles, and expect to make a sizzling dish? We all know that Akshay rocks at comic roles, Saif is the quintessential epitome of the urban, English speaking lad of modern India, Anil Kapoor is amazing even in the most hideous of roles, and Kareena is irresistibly sexy, and yeah they all can act well. This is stuff we all know. Then why the bloody f*** are we tormented by the makers to sit through this excuse for a film? Did they have surplus reel to shoot a film, and couldn’t find a better way of using it?
The film deals with a couple of issues – there is the small town-metro clash, where the English language is the separating bridge, then there is the revenge story, there is a childhood love story, there is a theft story, and yeah, there’s loads and loads and more loads of style, glamour and gloss. But is this really what we define as style? Perhaps the film is a bold statement on the intellect of idiots like me, who earn money and waste it on a film like this, or maybe it is made with reference to a scenario where style means no substance. Everything about it is bad, then be it the incorrect timings for the song situations, or the lyrics of the song Dil dance maare or the irritating English Hindi dialogues, which become inaudible and lose their charm (?) as Anil delivers it, to mention just a few. And yeah, then there are the special effects. The car flying sequence at the very outset of the film, speaks volumes about what lies in store for the audiences is to sit and cry in distress.
Though on the positive side, Dil haara and Chhaliya have good videos and make an interesting viewing as they also amount for a decent hearing. But that’s it. While the stunts attempt to be a rendezvous between the Rajnikanth movies and the cinema of the 1970s, with the Hollywood inspired technology, and a distinct Bhojpuri twang to appeal to the masses, neither do they look hilarious as some of their original inspirations, nor do they have the appeal which Farah Khan managed well with Main Hoon Na, where irrational takes over the rational but at least the basic sanity is in place. And yeah, the three lead kids are invincible too. Even a bomb-blast can’t harm them, in anyway. While we expect to see tiny particles and body atoms of the lethal triumvirate after the powerful bomb blast, all we get to see is how well they’ve managed even their clothes; even Kareena’s hair still looks as gorgeous as ever after the blast. Even video games have better entertainment value and are less taxing on the thinking portions of the brain.
Vaibhavi Merchant has tried some interesting steps for Dil haara, and Ayananka Bose has used some interesting camera angles for the entire film, but his eerie obsession for the bizarre camera angles, which started off with Jhoom Barabar Jhoom is still very much there and the weird hangover of the former stays with this one. In terms of the script, Tashan is so bad that the very fact that it got made is perhaps as ridiculous if not more than the idea of the script of Dhoom: 2 getting a booker prize for literary excellence, and in terms of the execution, honestly it looks like this film is being made to make Shaad Ali feel less guilty for making Jhoom Barabar Jhoom, which in comparison seems like a cinematic masterpiece by the way.
All in all, Tashan is special for one reason, since it has set the benchmark for Indian cinema at an all time low, and for all aspiring crappy films of the future, this one should hopefully not be defeated in the near future, for the sake of the paying public!
Watching any film with the YRF tag embossed on it, is sacrosanct to me, and hence when I watch something as crappy, as ludicrous and as pathetic as this, it isn’t exactly what YRF means to me. I agree that with the changing needs of the business of cinema, one does need to focus on business opportunities which have been hitherto untried. But Tashan is neither a cinematic jewel, nor is it a sound business proposition. I mean, till when would we only assemble the best on screen talent in the industry, give them pathetically shady roles, and expect to make a sizzling dish? We all know that Akshay rocks at comic roles, Saif is the quintessential epitome of the urban, English speaking lad of modern India, Anil Kapoor is amazing even in the most hideous of roles, and Kareena is irresistibly sexy, and yeah they all can act well. This is stuff we all know. Then why the bloody f*** are we tormented by the makers to sit through this excuse for a film? Did they have surplus reel to shoot a film, and couldn’t find a better way of using it?
The film deals with a couple of issues – there is the small town-metro clash, where the English language is the separating bridge, then there is the revenge story, there is a childhood love story, there is a theft story, and yeah, there’s loads and loads and more loads of style, glamour and gloss. But is this really what we define as style? Perhaps the film is a bold statement on the intellect of idiots like me, who earn money and waste it on a film like this, or maybe it is made with reference to a scenario where style means no substance. Everything about it is bad, then be it the incorrect timings for the song situations, or the lyrics of the song Dil dance maare or the irritating English Hindi dialogues, which become inaudible and lose their charm (?) as Anil delivers it, to mention just a few. And yeah, then there are the special effects. The car flying sequence at the very outset of the film, speaks volumes about what lies in store for the audiences is to sit and cry in distress.
Though on the positive side, Dil haara and Chhaliya have good videos and make an interesting viewing as they also amount for a decent hearing. But that’s it. While the stunts attempt to be a rendezvous between the Rajnikanth movies and the cinema of the 1970s, with the Hollywood inspired technology, and a distinct Bhojpuri twang to appeal to the masses, neither do they look hilarious as some of their original inspirations, nor do they have the appeal which Farah Khan managed well with Main Hoon Na, where irrational takes over the rational but at least the basic sanity is in place. And yeah, the three lead kids are invincible too. Even a bomb-blast can’t harm them, in anyway. While we expect to see tiny particles and body atoms of the lethal triumvirate after the powerful bomb blast, all we get to see is how well they’ve managed even their clothes; even Kareena’s hair still looks as gorgeous as ever after the blast. Even video games have better entertainment value and are less taxing on the thinking portions of the brain.
Vaibhavi Merchant has tried some interesting steps for Dil haara, and Ayananka Bose has used some interesting camera angles for the entire film, but his eerie obsession for the bizarre camera angles, which started off with Jhoom Barabar Jhoom is still very much there and the weird hangover of the former stays with this one. In terms of the script, Tashan is so bad that the very fact that it got made is perhaps as ridiculous if not more than the idea of the script of Dhoom: 2 getting a booker prize for literary excellence, and in terms of the execution, honestly it looks like this film is being made to make Shaad Ali feel less guilty for making Jhoom Barabar Jhoom, which in comparison seems like a cinematic masterpiece by the way.
All in all, Tashan is special for one reason, since it has set the benchmark for Indian cinema at an all time low, and for all aspiring crappy films of the future, this one should hopefully not be defeated in the near future, for the sake of the paying public!
1 comment:
baap re baap...ab toh nahi dekh sakta. Race gave me a headache, isse pataa nahi kya hoyega. YRF film ka itna scathing review, dude you've come a looong way from snoring during Dhoom2.
BTW, this one seemed the most honest review abhi tak. Taran Adarsh and sundry other so-called experts still try to find some balance but you've given it the real treatment.
keep them coming :)
Ashish
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